Boots and Roots

Have y’all ever placed an order with a butcher? Or told a butcher how you wanted a portion of a beef or hog cut up? I had that experience for the very first time last January. You guys…. It was an experience.

Back in June 2020, we bought a Black Angus heifer calf from a friend, to raise for butchering. Her name was Rona. Her twin brother’s name was Co. Yep, that’s how it was!

First, let me explain some terms here:

A female bovine that has NOT had a baby is called a heifer.

A female bovine that HAS had a baby is a cow.

A male bovine that has been castrated is a steer.

A male bovine who is intact–meaning not castrated–is a bull.

This is important terminology to keep in mind later in this story.

We raised that heifer (and I learned why calling someone a heifer is a somewhat derogatory term) for 2 1/2 years. By the time we took her in, she was 33 months old of pure grass-fed beef. I mean, she got into the peanut/milo-based chicken feed a couple times, but other than that, she was straight grass-fed.

At the butcher’s, well, let me start off by saying that Richard at Buck-n-Bull Meatworx in Bowie, TX is a saint. If he has any other customers like me, y’all need to pray for that man!! He had the cut list in front of him after we dropped Rona off. Having never done ANY of this before, and her having been a grass-fed heifer, there was a lot of “that’d be nice to have, if possible.” His experience with grass-fed beef is that it tends to be so lean that there may not be enough there for some of the cuts I was looking forward to having, or that the meat might be too tough.

As he’s going through the cut list, I’m reading the list upside down. And was nervous. As he’s going through cuts, I pointed one out and said “that one, placenta–I don’t want that cut!” That poor man looks at me, completely bewildered, and asks “PLACENTA?! I don’t think it works that way!” As soon as the words were out of his mouth, I realized a few things:

1. the sheet obviously didn’t say placenta. It said picanha. I’ve never heard of that cut before.
2. obviously, as a mother of 5, I ought to know that there’s no placenta in a heifer, nor would there still be placenta left in her if she was a cow. But the butcher is from Australia. I thought maybe they did things differently Down Under.
3. I’m an idiot. Y’all are welcome for the laugh–there was plenty of it from the butcher. And my husband. And myself. And the poor guys standing behind me after dropping off a deer they just bagged….

After that, poor Richard pulled the cut sheet away from me, and covered it with his hands so I couldnt’ see it anymore!!

Now, about that placenta–I mean PICANHA steak. We ate it for dinner tonight. Tonight’s dinner, let me just say, was amazing!! Darrin cooked the steak in the oven, under the broiler, with nothing more than some salt, pepper, and olive oil. Cooked to an internal temperature of 125. It was done to absolute juicy perfection. Here’s an article about this cut. This was probably the best steak I’ve ever had.

Since it’s a cut prized by Brazilians–or at least Brazilian steakhouses, I did some research on what sides to have with it.

I settled on corn and black bean salad, and Brazilian potato salad.

I don’t follow directions very well, so here’s my version:

Corn and black bean salad:

a bag of frozen corn (equivalent to a can of corn, but I bought, like, 10 lbs of frozen organic corn, then broke it down into 1-lb bags), defrosted and cooked

a pint jar of black beans–or 15 oz can, I think? When you start homesteading skills, sometimes you forget basics, like canned vegetable sizes… Rinse and drain.

1 tomato, diced

1/4 c olive oil

1/8 c (ish) lime juice–I didn’t really measure. I love lime juice.

1 clove minced garlic, or until the Holy Spirit says “enough is enough”

1/2 t salt

a few twists of black pepper

the recipe says 1/8 t of cayenne–I mostly halved everything, and by halved, I really mean eyeballed. So, a sprinkle of cayenne

a sprinkle of chili powder

a sprinkle of cumin

some cilantro

Directions:

1. mix bean, corn, and tomatoes together in a large bowl
2. add everything else into a small bowl and whisk
3. pour dressing mix over veggie mix, and combine.
4. refrigerate for 30 minutes to an hour.
5. serve cold. Or eat right away before refrigerating. We were too hungry to wait.

Brazilian Potato Salad

2 lbs of red potatoes, cut into quarters or so

1 T apple cider vinegar

1 c mayo

salt and pepper to taste

4 T lime juice (again, I didn’t measure)

1-2 cloves garlic, minced

dried mint

dried cilantro

Directions:

1. cut potatoes
2. boil 8-10 minutes, or until fork tender
3. remove from heat, drain, refrigerate for 10-15 minutes. or less, if you’re starving like I was.
4. combine mayo, ACV, lime juice, and all the rest of the ingredients to taste, or until it looks purty and tastes how you want it. I like it zingy!
5. Add mayo mix to potatoes, and combine carefully
6. serve warm, or pop back in the fridge for an hour or 2. We ate it warm. It was delicious.

If you guys decide to make any of this, let me know what you think, or how it turned out!

In the meantime, I hope you enjoyed this blunder-filled tale. I figure, among other things, my purpose in life is to provide amusement to others. I’m pretty good about making an arse out of myself. It’s a gift. Or something!!